Present.

I want to live. 

Really live. 

Live in the here and now, in the present.  


My friends try so hard to have a relationship with me by reminding me of the good times we had. When all I want to do is move on. 

Why can't they? 

The pain is like scratching a sunburn. 

Like this one group of friends: last summer, we were all carless and it was raining. Logically, we thought it was a good idea to walk to Wendy's while it was dark and raining.  Sure, we had a great time. And sure, it ended up being one of the greatest memories of my summer. But trying to set up the same circumstance this summer? Really? Can't we create new memories? Must we always live in the past? 


But then again, I cannot be hypocritical. 

I live in the future, and is that any better? 

When I was in high school, all I wanted to do was go to college.  Now that I'm in college, all I want to do is get married. And once I'm married, I'll be more than ready to move on to the next stage.   

Will I ever be content? 

I'm always ready to move on. For change. For the next big thing- not for the next big thing in pop culture crap, but for the next big thing in my life.  I get so bored with my life.  Even when it's not boring, I find myself comfortable with where I am, and I don't like that.  When I'm comfortable, I cannot grow.  And so I purposely create discomfort for myself.  

 "Life 

is 

what 

happens 

when 

you're 

busy 

making 

plans" 

-John Lennon

I'm always making plans. Always looking forward to the next thing. And I'm finding my life quickly fleeing away.  I find myself two decades old with nothing to show for it. 
I know I'm still young. I'm so young. But before I know it, I'll find myself on my death bed, still waiting for my life to begin.  


Is it so wrong to live for tomorrow, though? 

"Now listen, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.' Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." - James 4:13-14 (nlt)

Bible wins again.